7 Questions to Consider Before Moving a Person With Dementia Into Your Home

An important decision many dementia caregivers face is whether to move their partner living with dementia into their own home. This is no easy decision as it requires careful consideration to ensure the well-being and safety of both the person with dementia and the caregiver.

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Let's discuss 7 important questions to ask yourself before making the decision to bring a person with dementia into your home.

1. How well do you and your partner living with dementia get along?

Living with someone and sharing the same space has a special way of challenging even the strongest of relationships. Pair that with progressive changes in a person with dementia's behavior, personality, and ability to communicate and you are left with some unique challenges. What is the current standing of you and your partner's relationship? How will living with your partner impact your health if you two are unable to get along or if they are unable to get along with other members of the home? Is strain to your relationship with your partner and potentially others in the household something you are willing to work through?

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2. Have you considered the financial implications?

‍Caring for a person with dementia can involve significant financial costs. Evaluate your financial situation, consider how bills and finances will change with another person in the home, if you'll need to hire additional help, if they'll require any special equipment or adaptations to the home, what the plan would be for the person's current bills and living situation, and explore options such as government assistance programs, and local community resources, if necessary.

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3. Are you prepared for the emotional and physical demands?

Caring for someone with dementia can be emotionally and physically demanding whether near or afar. However, living with a person who has dementia comes with unique challenges and will take some adjustment. For example, as their dementia progresses, your partner may require assistance their everyday activities such as toileting, bathing, dressing, grooming, and even eating. Each activity comes with it's on physical and mental demands. These demands may further increase if your partner is more resistance to care or has mobility issues. You may find yourself losing sleep at night worrying if your partner will get into anything or try to leave the home due to confusion. If your partner takes medications, you'll also be responsible  for making sure they are taking their medications as prescribed and follow-up with doctor when there's any concerns. You may find yourself losing sleep at night worrying if your partner will get into anything or try to leave the home due to confusion. Alternatively, your partner may keep you up by making noise throughout the night. Your partner may experience fluctuating symptoms such as agitation, aggression, confusion, paranoia that you will have to learn how to navigate and adapt to. These "challenging" behaviors can be emotionally taxing. You may find yourself frustrating trying to communicate and/or hold a conversation with your partner as they may struggle to find words, express their needs, or follow instructions. They may in turn also become frustrated. Then, without a doubt, caring for someone with dementia can be an emotional rollercoaster that can evoke emotions you didn't even know you had. Witnessing the decline of the person you are caring for can be incredibly distressing. This is just a short list of the emotional and physical demands you will have to prepare yourself for and doesn't even include if your partner has any other health challenges. Are you open to learning as much as you can about dementia and caregiving strategies, acknowledging and addressing your feelings, seeking support from others when you need, and prioritizing your mental health by routinely practicing self-care?

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4. Can you manage the daily routines and activities?

Related to number two, consider how you will manage daily routines, such as meals, medications, personal care, engaging activities, and doctor's appointments. Remember, you will have to balance this with any other personal responsibilities you may have as well — work, spouse, kids, self-care, etc. Will you need to enlist help or is this something you can manage on your own?

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5. Do you have a support network in place?

‍Caring for a person with dementia requires a strong support system. If you have family and friends who can support you through this journey that's great. However, you may find that other family members and friends just don't get it or are unable to support you the way you need. I strongly recommend finding a local or virtual support group that meets your needs as well as identifying local respite care options so that you can take a break, before you need feel like you need one. Remember, you don't have to go through this journey alone.

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6. Is your home suitable for the needs of a person with dementia?

‍Assess your living space to ensure it is conducive to the safety and comfort of someone with dementia. The two things we want to keep in mind for safety is physical safety (exposure to dangerous or poisonous item and fall prevention) and safety to prevent wandering. Walk through your home and identify any potential hazards and remove, adapt, or secure them in a safe inaccessible place, consider the need for adaptations such as adequate lighting, signs and labels, grab bars, adaptive equipment for the bed, toilet, shower – even sofa, consider if any bed, floor, and/or door alarms are necessary, and consider if cameras are necessary in the home and if so where. Your home should be as dementia friendly as possible.

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7. What is your long-term plan?

Dementia is a progressive disease, and as the condition worsens, the level of care required may increase. Consider what your  long-term plan options. Does your partner have long-term care insurance or the money to pay for a group home, assisted living facility, memory care facility, or nursing home. Do you know the differences between these care options?