6 Tips to Communicate Respectfully with Someone with Dementia

When someone is living with dementia, how we communicate matters—often more than we realize. Respect isn't just about being cordial or polite. It's about recognizing the person behind the diagnosis, preserving their dignity, and making space for their voice and choices. Disrespect can show up subtly: through our tone, our body language, or by making decisions for them without their input.

Every interaction is a chance to show your partner that they are still valued. Here are a few practical ways to communicate respectfully and meaningfully with someone living with dementia.

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1. Do Not Treat Them Like a Child

Dementia changes the brain, but it does not erase adulthood or life experience. Using baby talk or calling someone “honey” or “sweetie” (unless that’s how they prefer to be addressed) can feel minimizing—even if it’s meant kindly. Always speak to your partner as the adult they are, with the same tone and respect you'd offer anyone else in your life.

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2. Avoid Patronizing Language or Behavior

People living with dementia may still pick up on tone, facial expressions, and body language—even if they struggle to process what’s being said. Oversimplifying in a way that feels condescending can be frustrating or disheartening. Clear, plain language is helpful, but it should still feel appropriate for adults. If something needs to be reworded or repeated, do so with patience and kindness—not pity or a condescending tone.

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3. Talk to the Person, Not About Them

If your partner is present, include them in the conversation. This holds true even if they aren’t able to fully participate. Talking about someone as if they’re not there can feel alienating and demeaning. Whenever possible, address your partner directly, and involve them in decisions or conversations about their care, preferences, or needs—even if they can't respond, acknowledge their presence.

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4. Respect Cultural Communication Differences

Culture shapes how people connect. This includes how they use eye contact, how much personal space feels comfortable, what tone of voice is considered respectful, and even how decisions are discussed. If your partner has cultural norms or preferences that differ from your own, try to adjust your approach. Respecting someone’s cultural background shows that you see them as a whole person, not just through the lens of dementia.

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5. Focus on Strengths and Abilities

It’s easy to slip into a mindset of loss—focusing on what dementia has taken away. But when we shift our attention to what the person can still do, we support their self-efficacy and independence. Give them opportunities to make choices, participate in routines, and use their remaining skills. Even small moments of success or contribution can reinforce their sense of value.

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6. Adapt Your Approach and Environment

Respectful communication doesn’t always mean doing things the way you’ve always done them. It often involves adapting—speaking slower, using more visual cues, or choosing a quieter setting to reduce distractions. Giving your partner time to respond, making sure you’re at eye level, and checking in with their comfort level can all make communication more supportive and less stressful. These small adjustments signal that their needs are important—and that you're willing to meet them where they are.

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Respect shows up in how we speak, how we listen, how we respond, and how we setup the environment. Even in moments of confusion or challenge, your partner with dementia still deserves to be treated with care, dignity, and respect. With a thoughtful approach, every interaction can become an opportunity to affirm their value and preserve their personhood.